Self Conflict

In our day to day human lives, we need to be constantly in motion, doing something while the brain is yet awake and properly operational, it may be working, driving, sitting, watching TV, etc. The list is endless.

And this brings into perspective how the normal human body operates. Let’s see, something like this:

the eyes see – the ears hear – the heart feels – the mind thinks – the body acts

…or so does my reasoning portray to my understanding.

So given such a train of logical flow, all this seems inbred within the human body. Like an inbuilt IT application, one might expect nature to dictate terms and bodily operation to be automatic. There should be no thinking twice, the mind should not dictate what the heart decides, the body should not dictate what the mind decides…or so it should be.

Is this really the case?? Well, for the majority the answer would be a definite NO!!

Let’s look at the “no” in further perspective. Two things stand out for me:

      

     1. The mind berates the heart

In this situation, the mind reasons according to its own logic and not what the heart feels. A person can be faced with such a situation whereby the mind is its own person. An example: “You are walking on the street and a street-child walks up to you,’nisaidie na kitu kidogo’ would be the usual statement. In this instance, the person feels a tirade of resentment, mercy towards the street-child. But his mind tells him otherwise; ‘if I lend this street-child some money, he’ll spend it on glue or some abusive substance’ is what one reasons. The mind thus betrays the heart’s inclination towards helping the street-child.

End result? – One just passes by like as if nothing happened.

        2. The heart berates the body

In this situation, the heart feels one thing while the body acts according to another form of motion. An example: “A person while crossing a road sees a car coming fullspeed towards him on a highway, his first instinct is to run but he freezes. Incidentally, he gets knocked down.” In such an occurrence, the heart’s instinct is to tell the body to run via an adrenaline rush, but all the adrenaline seems to do is to act as a form of super glue on the tarmac, a deadly thing indeed.

Through both these forms the human anatomy seems to have some sort of conflict within itself, not obeying the anatomical law (a theoretical one that has the same flow as natural law). This indeed is bewildering, and needs to be examined in closer detail. The only conclusion that can be summed up is that we need to find a balance between these sorts of conflict, like balancing measuring scales or a see-saw, in order to achieve the perfect horizontal incline that will define how long our lives will last, the longer the incline, the longer we live; a simple mathematical calculation. 

Flashbacks Part 2

And on the 2nd gun cock, I realise that his magazine is empty,

I grasp my chance, swing a punch so heavy,

He staggers backwards, knocks his head on a wall,

Then slumps downwards, unable to avoid the fall,

With pain I stand up, I start jogging slowly,

Slowly...Groggily....

The pain grows worse, blood oozes heavily,

I push forward, trying to concentrate steadily,

But its too much, I can't bear it any more,

I hug the ground, knocking myself against the cold stone floor,

Another world comes, one merged with darkness,

My persona scoffs me, mocking my 'toughness',

I remain there, waiting, hoping for some light,

Visions torment me, it seems there is no end in sight,

Then a loud bang!...

I wake up with a gasp, my heart has just been shocked,

Struggling to contain myself, the bed is being rocked,

The heart-rate monitor is wild, my pulse is going crazy,

The doctors are flummoxed, everything is so hazy,

My breathing gets laboured, I'm slipping away again,

They try and try, but maybe I was just not meant to remain,

The pulse monitor beeps loudly, that's a clear sign,

The end is in sight, better start thnking about cloud nine,

Something wierd happens then...

A bright light appears, I find myself in empty space,

The light suddenly disappears, many images start to race,

I realise they reflect the years, I lived and my mind starts to pace,

So much joy and tears, so many memories joined like a lace,

I relax and calm my fears, I now know it's not all glace,

I close my eyes,sht my ears, "anytime mow" is all over my face,

And it happens!

The noise and confusion come back, the monitr beeps ease slowly,

Everone sighs at the cut slack, a few seconds were left only,

I had survived a heart attack, my family couldn't be left lonely,

The experience left a mark, though i hoped it would be more homely,

A surprise it was then as a loud bark, reawakened me to my present folly,

The store i was in had run out of luck, it was me and the robbers solely,

I cursed and yelled f**k!, I hate these flashbacks wholly!,

What to do next was unknown, the yells to lie down were unheard,

Although i was now fully grown, the theme of the event was still sad,

The robbers continued with their tone, although they were now getting mad,

I reasoned,use brains over brawn, but my decision was like that of a retard,

Thought number 1 was to pick up the phone, well all that proved to be bad,

Once more a gunshot was blown, once more i hugged some hard land,

I'd rather be reduced to a bone, than let my life flow out like hourglass sand,

To live or to die, that is my dilemma, that is my flashback...

Flashback....

Flashbacks

In the dark depths of the alleyway,

We stand there, staring at each other, each in the other’s way,

His shadowed face in a hood, his stance not telling,

While I struggle to contain my heartbeat, my body perspiring,

My feet glued to the ground, I wait for the sign…

And it comes!

He whips put his gun, dull in the moonlight, deadly when cocked,

I know I must do something before I get poked,

My feet start to move, faster and steadier,

Bullets start renting the air, missing me by a whisker,

In the heat of it all, my mind wanders back to the past,

Everything I’ve done, good or bad, which couldn’t last,

I don’t know what’s gonna happen next,

But I know for sure that it ain’t gonna turn out for the best.

The inevitable happens; a bullet hits me from the back,

And I hug the ground, cursing that he couldn’t cut me some slack,

The pain searing through my body,

The night suddenly starts to look shoddy,

He walks gauntly, striving to enjoy the victory,

While I groan in pain, thinking about the heavy irony,

He stands over me, his silhouette seemingly deadly,

Gun raised again, eager to end the story quickly,

And on the 2^nd gun-cock, I realize…

…to be continued….

Change

When we here of the word change, what comes first into our minds?  To some it’s a 360 degree reverse in what our behaviors and personas, to others it’s an about-turn in our mindsets and way of thought. To others it’s a complete halt in performing whatever we were supposed to perform. Yet one common thing stands out in all of these terminologies: change is body-wise and meant to help us achieve the better.

Yet we tend to overlook the important type of change: change in spirit. The spirit is our very essence, it is who we are, what is left after the 6 feet deep companionship with the wooden coffin. It is the spirit that wills the mind and body, drives these two to action. It is the driver behind the wheels as we go for the ride that is life.

Thinking about it this way, we need to manage this driver. The driver is the ultimate controller of all the factors constituting a journey: speed, direction, motion. The type of vehicle does not matter; neither does the definition of “driver”. It does not matter whether it is a car, plane or ship, nor even a train or wheelbarrow. As long as there is someone who is in control, someone in charge, someone dictating the pace, they deserve the title of “drivers”.

And yet we need to carefully control how the driver takes control of the vehicle, how they manipulate the various elements of control: whether they steer left right or center; whether  they go at 20kph or 150kph; whether they are always aware of their surroundings or drive recklessly.

It is this “driver” that we need to change most. Change in the spirit automatically instigates a change in the way the mind thinks and the body acts. Like that one drop of colored water which we observe spreading from the epicenter to the furthest corners, that single drop of change in the spirit will spread quickly to the mind and body. Change in spirit is what changes us completely, turns us from who we once were into newer versions. Technologically speaking, we are transformed from prototypes to the complete model, ready for rollout into the world.

Let us therefore seek to consistently change in our spirits before anything else for the good, if we are to develop ourselves in the long run. As we so often know it “Form is temporary, but class is permanent”. Let us take form to be mind and body, and class to be spirit, and we shall go far and prosper in this journey called life.

Il mio primo post

                                  

At first glance, you may be wondering, "What jibberish is this??" Well, my friend, this is not jibberish. Translating from Italian, it basically reads out "My first post".

And hence begins my journey as a blogger. I am fascinated by the prospect of what the future holds and what we will share and learn from each other. The journey will be full of ups and downs, highs and lows. But well, that's just life. It wouldn't be any more fun. This may not be the most awesome post you have ever read, but it sure does excite me! The incredible stories, poems and thoughts I have to share with you all are aplenty, and I can't wait! So join the bandwagon! 

My motto: "You are who you say you are"

Never ever forget that.

God bless.